OWPCA
Oklahoma Water & Pollution Control Association
P. O. Box 946
Woodward, Oklahoma 73802-0946
800-776-9722

Water Humor

OWPCA
Humor Page

The following are misc. pieces of humor contributed from numerous contributors.
We hope you enjoy them.

He Haw...
We are on our way to the OWPCA Annual Short School.
We'll meet you there.

A passing septic service truck declared "19,500 lbs. of very gross weight."

Sign on a BP Gas Pump.
Hmmm - I wonder if they read their own signs.

Serious Leaking Protection
Sponsored by Huggies

Maybe BP could use the same idea!

Water Tower Fun Facts and Photos

Go to www.watertowers.com/facts.html
to read about some interesting water tower fun facts.
You can also see other water towers, murals on water towers, games, etc.

Can you tell what time it is?

Creative Puns

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's Roundtable was Sir Cumference.
            He acquired his shape from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
            but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from an Algebra class because
            it was a weapon of math destruction.
5. A grenade was thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
            Linoleum Blownapart.
6. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Works For Ketchup

A little 3-year old boy was sitting on the toilet.

His mother thinks he has been there to long, so, she goes in to see what is up.

The little boy is gripping on the toilet seat with his left hand and hitting himself on top of his head with his right hand.

His mother asked: "Billy, are you alright? You have been in here."

Billy says: "I am fine, Mommy. I just haven't gone "Doody" yet."

Mother says: "Ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are hitting yourself on the head?"

Billy says: "It works for Ketchup."

The 710 Knob

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage.

A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten knob. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten knob?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked ' Is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.'

Do you know what a 710 Knob is?
Click Here to find out.

Looking for Employment. (Taken from the Readers Digest)

Although desperate for work, I passed on a job that I had found on an employment web page. It was for a wastewater plant operator. Among the job requirements, "Must be able to swim."

Click Here    To Read About Dihydrogen Oxide Pollution

Quotes

        My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - - Rodney Dangerfield

        The shower is the greatest invention. I don't like to take a bath. I don't like to wash my face in the water I've been sitting in.-- Lewis Grizzard

        How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue ... and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?-- Rita Rudner

        Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot. -- Minnie Pearl

Water Bed Humor

A friend of mine awoke one morning to find a puddle of water in the middle of his king-size water bed. In order to fix the puncture, he rolled the heavy mattress outdoors and filled it with more water so he could locate the leak more easily. The enormous bag of water was impossible to control and began rolling on the hilly terrain. He tried to hold it back, but it headed downhill and landed in a clump of bushes which poked it full of holes. Disgusted, my friend threw out the water-bed frame and moved a standard bed into his room. The next morning, he awoke to find a puddle of water in the middle of the new bed. The upstairs bathroom had a leaky drain.

Source: Reader's Digest, March, 1993, Page 123

Nautical Humor Dictionary
    Click Here

Long Lost Son

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.   My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Country Funeral

As a young minister in Kentucky , I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave-side service for a homeless man, who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a new cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be buried there.

I was not familiar with the backwoods area, and I soon became lost. Being a typical man, I did not stop to ask for directions. I finally arrived an hour late.

I saw the backhoe and the open grave, but the hearse was nowhere in sight. The digging crew was eating lunch. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and I stepped to the side of the open grave. There I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, as I told them that this was the proper thing to do.

The workers gathered around the grave and stood silently, as I began to pour out my heart and soul. As I preached about 'looking forward to a brighter tomorrow' and 'the glory that is to come,' the workers began to say 'Amen,' 'Praise the Lord,' and 'Glory!' The fervor of these men truly inspired me.

So, I preached and I preached like I had never preached before, all the way from Genesis to Revelations.

I finally closed the lengthy service with a prayer, thanked the men, and walked to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I heard one of the workers say to another, 'I ain't NEVER seen nothin' like that before, and I've been puttin' in septic tanks for thirty years.

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OWPCA Oklahoma Water & Pollution Control Association P. O. Box 946 Woodward, Oklahoma 73802-0946 800-776-9722

Send mail to docentstw@brightok.net with questions or comments about this web site. Copyright © 2009 Olahoma Water Pollution & Control Association Last modified: 07/29/10

OWPCA
Oklahoma Water & Pollution Control Association
P. O. Box 946
Woodward, Oklahoma 73802-0946
800-776-9722

Send mail to docentstw@brightok.net with questions or comments about this web site.
Copyright © 2009 Olahoma Water Pollution & Control Association
Last modified: 07/29/10